Sacred Moments

“Unscheduled free time.” Look it up. It might be just what the muse ordered.

I discovered it because I packed my summer with endless road trips, vacations, summer classes, and just general projects I wanted to conquer before the “parade of snowstorms” that the Farmer’s Almanac” is predicting descends upon me again.

I don’t regret my packed travel schedule this time around. Though stressful, it was probably necessary to my discovery of “the unschedule” trend. When we travel, we aren’t taking part in our routines, so it is easier to try out new behaviors. I could eat the exact same meal in London as I do in Minnesota, and I would savor it more in London because I’m not in my normal ecosystem. 

The “unschedule” was created by a Yale professor teaching a course called “Psychology and the Good Life.” In class rather than teaching incoming freshmen “time management” she assigns them “unscheduled free time.”

At once this is an oxymoron, of course, because it necessitates that we schedule our unscheduled free time (but let’s ignore that I just pointed that out). The studies she presents are incredible to look at. Over and over, research shows that people who commit to unscheduled free time are far and away happier than the rest of the population.

Over-organizing your life often leads to anxiety, stress, isolation, and disappointment when things don’t go as perfectly as you had them planned. Contrarily, people who are purposeful about leaving unscheduled free time in their life are more social, flexible, end enjoy the journey to their daily destinations more. Interactions like waxing philosophy with the coffee barista and kite flying tips from the fleet farm cashier are all more meaningful when you aren’t running from one task to the next. 

When I reflect on what led me to an attitude of time-obsession, I often end up blaming my midwestern work ethic. It gives us a sense of identity and pride in how busy we are. But I think I have to spread out the blame a bit and place the onus on a new culprit: FOMO. Social media, and our constant comparison of our life to the lives of everyone in our news feed leaves us with a perpetual Fear Of Missing Out.

I read recently about a resident of Pisa who said that it is virtually impossible to get anywhere near the Leaning Tower of Pisa because hundreds of people are around it, pretending to push it so they can get that exact Instagram photo they have seen on everyone else’s social media. He lamented that he doesn’t think many of them notice all the amazing things around the photo that they are posting: the smells, accents, and even the other humans that could enrich their travel experience so much more than the photograph ever will. 

While lazing about in Guatemala with 13 other adventurous souls who accompanied me on a retreat, I made sure that our schedules allowed for gaps in our daily activities. After a couple days of people asking me, “What should we do now,” and me shrugging and responding, “I don’t care,” (and then wandering off to look for those colorful marshmallows I really like), the group naturally started creating their own magic moments. They walked around town, they started a soccer game with some kids, they took photos, they took a siesta; the opportunities were endless and the stories we shared at the end of the day were filled with joy and laughter.

If an activity, experience, conversation, etc., wasn’t in your plan and you just stumbled upon it, 100% of the time it brings us WAY more satisfaction than if that same activity was scheduled into your agenda. Those sacred memories, those synchronistic occasions of happenstance, they have a quality about them that is indescribable. They can’t be pre-planned, and they can’t be recreated.

When you recall them, it almost seems like the air was thick with magic (it was). 

You don’t need a photograph or Instagram post for those memories. They stay stored on the SD card located in your soul.